Affair is devastating, but can be an opportunity to lean and grow.

spiral2grow, a leading provider in affair counseling in New York City, has affair counselors and couples therapists, who are expert in helping couples during crisis, especially affair and betrayal. spiral2grow, located in midtown Manhattan at 260 Madison #8023, New York, NY 10016, offers proven affair counseling in a variety of formats: individual marriage counseling, couples counseling.

Infidelity and Affair

More than 50% of all spouses are victims of infidelity, which means that one spouse in most marriages will suffer great marital pain at some time during their lifetimes. The consequences of infidelity are numerous. They include a loss of trust, feelings of abandonment, pain, guilt, anger shame, low self-esteem, and sometimes separation or divorce or even worse living in a marriage that is like “hell.”

An affair is devastating. It’s one of the most painful experiences anyone involved will ever be forced to endure. Yet, extramarital affairs, infidelity, betrayal or adultery don’t have to mean the end of your relationship or marriage. Surviving infidelity or healing from infidelity in your relationship or marriage is challenging but with professional help, time to heal and a mutual goal of rebuilding the relationship, some couples emerge from infidelity with a stronger, fulfilling and more honest relationship than before.

Because of the shame and guilt associated with this issue it is hard to get support, advice, and help from your friends and relatives. And yet without help, your odds are decreased of getting through the maze of recovery in the most expedient and constructive way. Effective therapist may help couples meet the challenges after infidelity and affairs and help couples transcend the trauma of infidelity and feel less discourage, crazy, ashamed, self-righteous, and alone.

Healing from affair is very emotional and challenging process that may take a long time. First, the affair must end definitely and both partners want to continue their relationship/marriage. Restoring the broken trust is one of the most difficult aspects to overcome and is the main priority at early stages after the affair. The couples must work together through transparency, honesty, support and clear guidelines. That is why a train couples counselor or marriage therapist that specialized in infidelity is strongly helpful. The psychotherapist or marriage counselor will provide safe, confidential, and balanced environment, while supporting, advising and guiding the couple through the difficult and long process and be able to renew and transform their relationship.

Pointers in rebuilding your relationship after an affair

• • Healing from affair requires both partners to be committed to the hard work of overcoming a difficult crisis, rebuilding trust and getting their relationship back on track.
  • Patience and courage are important components of successful in affair counseling
  • The roller coaster of emotions – anger, sadness, pain, anxiety, passion etc – are normal during such difficult and confusing times.
  • The unfaithful partners must realize the pain they caused by the betrayal, be remorseful and be willing to end the affair.
  • A key indicator of whether couples can overcome affair is level of empathy and compassion the unfaithful partner express toward the betrayed partner the hurt they have caused.
  • Honesty and transparency after the betrayal is elementary in regain the trust.
  • The unfaithful partner must do all that is needed to win his spouse’s trust back.
  • Questions about the affair should be answered honestly.
  • The focus of the conversation should be on meaning not technicality.
  • Talking about the affair is very challenging, upsetting and difficult. Yet, it is the only way to face the pain and fear and rebuild trust and intimacy.
  • If discussion about the cheating brings overwhelming emotions emotions, conversation should be limited or a better is needed to be found.
  • The betrayed spouse must accept the overwhelming roller coaster of feelings and develop the capacity to manage them in a healthy way.
  • It may sound paradoxical, yet affair can take place even in happy relationships. In this case the affair was not designed to withdraw or disconnect from the partner (since the couples still love each other), but rather it is an expression of loss and longing that even healthy relationship cannot provide. This statement is provided clearly not to justify the affair.
  • Action, but words and not promises are the foundation of trust.
  • Healing is not easy and requires patience. Couples must allow themselves to grief the loss.
  • Affair is less about love and more about boundaries and maturity.
  • Not all affairs are equals. As such betrayals must be looked from different angles. Each affair must be dealt on case by case basis.
  • It is important to understand that the victim of the infidelity is not necessarily the victim of the marriage.
  • The future possibilities for the intimate relationship are not determined by the past events but by actions taken in the present, while learning from the undesirable experience of the affair.
  • Even though affair is devastating, it can be used as an opportunity to change, to grow, to connect in a better way and to emerge stronger.
  • The affair can  point to the challenges in the relationship and can be used as a springboard to to improve the relationship and create more fulling dynamics.

Learn more about Infidelity Counseling in New York City.