Premarital Counseling in NYC

Getting married without pre-marriage counseling is like starting a business or any important venture without preparation and the skills to run the business. It is not surprising that half of all marriages end in divorce and only half of those that endure are truly happy in the long run. Many happy engaged couples assume that they won’t be contributing to these statistics. Some mistakenly believe that having lived together or known each other for a long time will prepare them for marriage. Surprisingly, research shows that cohabiting couples have no better chance at marriage success than others as the main reason for failing marriages is lack of relational/intimate skills.

Most couples just don’t realize that good, skill-based pre-marriage education can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period. There is no reason to make the effort now to increase your marriage success and to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and a great life are realized.

In premarital counseling, while providing the foundation of healthy marriage, spiral2grow customize it program to your needs. You have the option to focus on the topics that matter most to you. Yet, we find that it’s critical for couples to discuss the following topics: Communication, Assertiveness and Active Listening, Conflict Resolution, Financial Issues, Intimacy, Sexuality, Spirituality and Religion, Relationship Roles and expectations, Parenting, Extended Family Relationships.

Pre-marriage preparation is based on the reality that it’s important to strengthen your relationship and prepare constructively for future challenges and conflicts that everyone will inevitably face at some point in their marriage, now while you have so much fresh positive energy in your relationship. Don’t stick your head in the sand. The research shows that there is a window of opportunity during the year before the wedding and the six months or so after when couples get the optimum benefit from marriage preparation. Later, under stress, negative habits and relationship patterns may become established and be much harder to resolve.

Without marital foundation, such strong, well-established abilities to communicate, resolve issues, maintain mutuality and set goals, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by today challenges, role, responsibilities and expectations. As such, marriage preparation functions as an immunization that boosts your capacity to handle potential difficulties. Premarital counseling led by Licensed Marriage Family Therapist (LMFT) and Marriage Counselor provides many skills to deepen intimacy in relationship. It is also for couples who want to rekindle and enhance an already good relationship.

What is Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counseling or premarital therapy is a form of couples therapy that helps you strengthen your relationship, identify any blind spots prior to getting married and enhance your marriage. Think of it as preventative care for your future wedded bliss, teaching you marriage skills and allowing you to deal with conflicts in a constructive way and teach you how to navigate simple challenges that could escalate to massive issues down the road. Premarital therapy is typically focused on addressing skills building and improving areas that may lead to disconnect or stress. It is a proactive way of equipping couples with tools you need to create happy marriage. Research indicates that couples who attend premarital counseling are 30% less likely to divorce or separate than couples who have not spent time preparing for marriage.  

When Should you Start Premarital Therapy?

It’s not uncommon for long ignored issues in your relationship or individual pasts to get triggered as you discuss your future. In my practice, I notice that not once, couples make the big mistake of seeking couples counseling when it is deep into the problem. They waited too long or even too late. I strong suggestion is to be proactive. The same way you learn how to drive, study or prepare yourself to be skillful in any domain, the same applies to relationship and marriage. So, don’t put off premarital counseling. As soon as you’re engaged, seek out premarital counseling that fits you and address your needs. Give yourself time to fully process whatever may arise.

Despite how heavy premarital counseling may sound or feel, it is often one of the most joyful and rewarding experiences a couple can have together on the way to a successful marriage. By reflecting on individual and couples needs, exploring individual and shared visions for the future couples usually not only prepare themselves to deal with the natural challenges of relationship, but also enhance their intimacy, excitement as well as their confidence about the mate they have selected.

A Few Subjects Covered in Pre-marital Counseling

• Healthy Communication skills (greater expressiveness, and dynamic communication)
• Learn how to express difficult feeling, especially anger, hurt and resentment
• Build conflict resolution skills (including resolution long-standing conflicts)
• Better family dynamics (including extended family and in-laws)
• Have greater understanding of yourself and your partner
• Power struggle (Overcome struggles that go nowhere)
• Manage boundaries and anger expression
• Deepening and enriching intimacy
• Develop respect and empathy
• Express difficult issues
• Explore energetic and physical contact
• Break old patterns of relating that create distance
• Learn how to include other without losing yourself
• Discover aliveness in your differences and use it at source of growth
• Create shared purpose and direction as well interests, wants and desires
• Improve passion and joy in your relationship (having more fun, energy and closeness)